Edwardsville...

So I have been living in Edwardsville for about a year now and something came to my attention a few weeks ago.

I was at the local Price Chopper buying garbage stickers(Like the responsible person I am.) I asked the miserable lady at the customer service counter for 3 Edwardsville garbage stickers.
She got my stickers and ran them through the register. That's when the screen that shows me the price of the item I am buying caught my eye.
Right above the price for the 3 stickers it read "E-ville garbage stickers"!!!
Upon reading that I lost my mind! Why hasn't this come up before ?!?

Whenever I mention to anyone that I live in Edwardsville I get a handful of responses:

" OH, I would never live there." or
"I hear its real bad there." or
"Is that where that guy got killed."

Granted, Just about every night the cops are on my street for some disturbance. And there was a 4 hour hostage situation and standoff 5 houses down from mine. Also, there is a constant rotation of drug dealers a few houses down. One street over a guy got beaten with his own guitar when he tried to stop a guy from stealing it. I could also throw a rock off my back porch and reach the empty lot that was the glass bar.

But, I love my house. I love my neighborhood. I wouldn't change it for the world. I have a pool and a hot tub and a bar in my house. On top of all that I have a never-ending supply of "F"-ed up stuff just out my window.

Although I love it, Crazy shit happens all over the place. Killings and muggings and beatings and drunken nonsense.
My question is...Why hasn't anyone else thought of calling it E-ville before? Is the customer service desk at Price Chopper really responsible for this brilliance? Why hasn't it been in newspapers? When an elderly lady was beaten and mugged at 2 pm at the bottom of my street why didn't the newspaper read "E-ville Strikes Again." ?

Well, I'm not letting Price Chopper have this one. I am claiming it for my own. From here on out I claim E-ville as my idea.

So, whenever something bad happens. whether it be a murder, or drug deal, or somebody winds up like a jigsaw puzzle in a wet garbage bag, read the headlines and think to yourself "Man, that would sound so much cooler if they just called it E-ville."